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So engage that other creative intelligence. Listen to your instincts.
Pay attention to what you feel about the text. It probably means something.

HEWWO??

Straaaannnnge. I have just gotten comfortable in Chicago. Living, walking, going to class, loving it. And this time next week I will be back, in my bed, in my apartment on the 7th floor, on my yellow sheets. I will need to read three books, and I will have lots of laundry to do, probably. The street cleaners will be going by and the next day will be my father's birthday. So strange. I want my life to move this way forever. Always. Siempre.

I have been drinking way too much coffee, indulging in tic-tacs, gum, and other vices not worth mentioning. Let's do some lyrics. Let's do that.


Any way, any way, any way you wanna go.
Nobody wants to get stuck for the summer
Started with one and we ended with another
Scratch your name in my side
It's all about making good time.
-Stuck for The Summer, Two Hours Traffic


It’s a place to lay yourself or the heads of coyote
Now, if you find yourself falling apart
Then I'm sure I could stand on
The Great Salt Lake

We're following home
We want more
Following home
We all want more

If ever beat down, we know who we are
They know we all want more.
-The Great Salt Lake, Band of Horses



Trouble falls in my home
Troubled man, troubled stone
turn a mountain of lies
turn a card for my life
Man of Steel, Man of Heart
Tame our ways, if we start
To devise something more
Something half ways

Only a steel man came to recover
If he had run from gold, carry over
We celebrate our sense of each other
We have a lot to give one another
-The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts, Sufjan Stevens



I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh, what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you

And it is true what you say
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in
-Marching Bands of Manhattan, Death Cab For Cutie


and the water rolls down the drain,
the water rolls down the drain,
oh what a lonely thing! in a lonely drain!

July, July July! Never seemed so strange
July, July, July! Never seemed so strange.
-July, July, July! The Decemberists


Choo-choo train left right on time.
A ticket costs only your mind.
The driver said, "Hey, man, we go all the way."
Of course we were willing to pay.
-My Name Is Jonas, Weezer.


Sometimes doing these things are just important. Sometimes you just have to remember what was going on in your brain. They way you can slowly, slowly, slowly lose hope, and then in one good day, regain it, and remake your Chicago mix, and realize that there's nothing wrong or emabarrassing or bad about you life. It's yours. Own it. Cradle it. Dance with it.

Coffee.

Text Messages

Favorites from my inbox...



The guy said we sounded like angels.

Once upon a time, there was a place called Nashville. It was full of motorists, and I hate them all.

Pie times four over two is me slappin yo ass. Slappin it niiiiice.

Have fun. Forget about it. That's an order.

Hell is a department store with unisex fitting rooms.

Ha ha! Lol.

I effing love you!

Missa Bob Harris!!

Fuck those fucking delicious cookies!!!

Let them know. It doesn't matter. People would throw shit at the pope if they found out he wore panty hose, but god would know he just needed the support. catch my drift?

You be right, sister!

Instant friends!

Whatever. You're hot.

Parker

I just wanted to remember this conversation.



So, I have a doctors appointment when I go home to find out whether I'm crazy or not.

Shit.

Yeah, I'm really nervous about it. It runs in my family. I just haven't been excited about anything in a long time. Like, I can't get really happy. It freaks me out. I don't want to be crazy.

It's okay, I'm crazy, I just never let any one diagnose me.

Yeah, you seem crazy. I just think about shit, you know? I have to be alone a lot.

No, me too, there's nothing crazy about that, right?

No, I don't think so. I think it's cool how much time you spend with yourself. I think that's why I've been crazy lately, I haven't been alone enough. Rachel's like cancer, you know? She's always going, going, going, and I feel bad, because I want to hang out with her, I just need to get back to being sane.

Yeah, but I think she understands that. She seems cool. I mean, I don't really know her, but...

Yeah, she's cool. But, I don't know, I just start to think too much. I look at all of this, and, like, what is this? What is the point of all of this? Like, how much money went into all of this? If a meteor hit the Earth it wouldn't even matter, you know? It wouldn't be a big deal. I mean, it would, but it wouldn't affect anything, you know?

Wow, yeah.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this to you because maybe it's what's making me crazy.

No, look, I promise I am just as crazy as you are.

Yeah?

Yeah... I mean, I can't do anything in odd numbers. Like, I'm fucking terrified of ending up with one Q-tip when I need two. Looking at bristles makes me salivate. I'm addicted to brushing my teeth. It's weird, I don't know, I just am. I can't be in groups of people. They make me nervous, especially kids my age. I'm a fucking loner. And I think I have an alien living in my body. I swear to God. I mean, I know it's not true.

An alien?

Yes.

Really?

...yeah. see?

I want to be a ghost hunter.

That's cool, man.

When I was 11 I saw one. It was a nun, and I was in Maine. Me and my dad were walking through this abandoned house, and I saw this nun and I just thought maybe it wasn't totally abandoned, you know? Like, I was 11, i didn't assume ghost.

Holy shit, dude. I'm freaking out.

Yeah, like I pointed her out to my dad, and he couldn't see her, and he got really sketched out.

I'm fucking terrified right now.

then he said the place used to be a coven, and I didn't know what that was.

A what? ...A convent, you mean?

A convent! Yes!

Panera; Margaret

the situation is that I am sitting in Panera and I hear this conversation, or speech. I don't know the women, but one of them was named Margaret.

Woman: How about right here, Margaret?

Margaret: Oh, yeah this is perfect.

Woman: Yes, definitely. This is much better. Glad we didn’t have to sit outside! So, let me tell you, oh my god, you know? Ben keeps telling me about this friend- this girl- he’s been hanging around with, and you know, I knew he had a little crush on her, and I just tried to leave it alone-- it’s none of my business, but he finally brings her over, this weekend, right? And she’s 23. Twenty-three! And she stays for dinner and finally goes home at some awful time in the morning, and she’s covered in tattoos, mind you.

Margaret: I saw an interesting program a few weeks ago about men dating older women…

Woman: I bet it was interesting. So, finally, what happened, the next day I go into his bedroom and he asks me what I thought of her and I just didn’t say anything, you know, he already knows I don’t like her. So I just told him that it’s not my decision who he’s hanging around with, and then I said that I really didn’t want to get into it, it’s none of my business. Well, he kept telling me he asked my opinion, but I just didn’t have anything to say about her, Margaret, so I just left, and closed the door. Sometimes you just have to close the door, Margaret.

Chicago

The situation is that I am walking around with Josh in Humboldt Park.


You: I tried to slam the door, but it didn't really work.

Girl: Excuse me? Is that yalls car?

Me: Oh, no.

Girl: Alright, cause if it was, yall was about to get a ticket.

You: No, but thanks for looking out.

Boy: You're gonna get a ticket any way, for being together tall and short.

We laughed.